A bit of humour

I spend most of my day sat on the taxi ranks in town.
Here's a few of the things I come by...

Click here to read the latest additions.
The letter of complaint can be found here.


"Are you booked ?".
Ten of us parked in a row, come on mate !

"Are you free ?"
No pal, you have to give me money at the end of the journey.

"Are you the front car ?"
Now come on for godsake. Does that pink Skoda in front of me look like a taxi ?

"Turn down here mate. I know a short cut."
Yep, fine. Are you gonna pay the £90 if a traffic warden sees me ?

"Are you vacant ?"
I might be a taxi driver but I did have an education.

"Are you busy ?"
Yes. That's why i'm sat here !

"Do you do the Bronx Estate ?"
Not usually, but business is so bad I'll risk anything.

I'll go with you, you know where I live.
Sure. Where you going ?

"Didn't I have you last week ?"
I don't think so grandma.

"How much! It only cost me £2.50 on the way down ?"
So if the other firm is so cheap, why get in my cab ?

Some other observations


Why do old people always try to squeeze their bodies into the small space behind the drivers seat ?
There's more leg room in the front and it takes an 1/8th of the time to get in and out. We are trying to earn a living.

Why do they always bang their heads ?
That hurts me just as much !

Is it a must for people over 69 to tell us their age ?
Kempton Close please. I'm 87 you know !

My car has a big space at the back called a boot.
So why try to get 14 carrier bags in the car with you ?

Could you help me with my bags ?
Means, "Would you mind busting your guts with these, I've bought to much again".

Contact me if you have an addition.